Forgiveness is not about letting the person who has hurt you off the hook instead it is about God’s healing love changing your heart.
Through the years of growing up and becoming my own independent self there has been some resistance from family.
There have been conversations behind my back about my religious beliefs and even my political views.
Often times I have wondered why parents are not more accepting and gracious with our children discovering who they are and what they believe.
And yes, my son is still young so it may seem a little early for me to say… but, honestly I have already begun giving him space to explore his beliefs on his own. Yes, I share my faith and help to guide him with my own beliefs but I do not make him read his bible or even pray.
Sounds weird, right?
In my own upbringing I learned that religion was about rules however; as an adult I learned God the Father is about relationship. I can not make my son have a relationship with God instead all I can do is show Him how I have a relationship with God.
In the same way, I know my son will have differing views with politics and religion as he grows up because I know my views are based on my own experiences in life and no longer about how I was raised.
Our children are only ours for a short amount of time. My goal is to help him grow and learn to be an independent person.
My hope is that I will be a soft place for him to land when life gets hard. Not a place of judgment or condemnation. A place to come to ask for prayer or bounce off ideas about life. A place of love and acceptance. A place that will always feel like home even when he leaves.
There comes a time as children when we have to forgive the pain of our past. We have to be thankful our parents did their best but, at the same time we do not have to enter and get involved in any of the chaos or drama. We do not have to pretend that the relationship is better than reality. We do not have to compromise our beliefs and views in order to make others happy. However; we do need to give grace, forgive and move into wider space.
This wider space gives room for new growth and development. This wider space lets go of the past and moves into a new direction.
I know it can be hard to begin this process but, the alternative is to never learn how to love like Jesus.
I have spent far too many years trying to prove I was right. Setting those arrows down can be difficult but, I know there is no growth in staying stuck. I have finally come to a place of wanting to explore what my world can look like if I let go and move forward. The picture perfect family does not exist and we still need to learn to set healthy boundaries but, excluding ourselves from relationship is sad and lonely.
This is the year I have decided to fully engage and let God lead my path to wider space.
May you find peace in knowing you too can forge a new path with him guiding you into a journey of forgiveness and release of past pain. I pray you will trust him on this journey.
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